7.3.1 Meeting with the affected student

The first meeting with the affected student is crucial. The teacher expresses his/her concern about the situation, assures the student that he/she will take initiative to help him or her and conveys confidence that the situation will change. By doing this the teacher signalizes first of all that he/she knows about the bullying and is determined to intervene. Bullying is an unacceptable behavior and will not be tolerated. Secondly, the teacher tries to build up trust that the situation can change – like in a lot of other cases of bullying. In the course of the talk, the teacher asks for the names of the bully(-ies) and bystanders on the one hand and for the names of friendly students on the other hand. He/she explains the following steps and asks the affected student to watch out for positive signals from other students during the next days. There will be a follow-up meeting after 8 – 14 days (depending on the age of the pupil).

The teacher informs the parents of the affected student about the intervention (see also comment: Parents and the No Blame Approach). Parents can contribute a lot to the success of the NBA by being positive about it and not insisting on sanctions. Research has shown that parental intervention (addressing the bully themselves or contacting the parents of the bully) leads to an aggravation of the incidents and is most likely contra productive.⁵