7.8.9 Guideline: Meeting with the affected student

  • Introductory phase
    Build a relationship
    Build trust
  • Share your observations
    I have noticed that…
    I don´t see you anymore…
    Your parents are worried…
  • Ask the student to express his/her thoughts and feelings
    Do you like coming to school?
    Do you feel good in your class?
    How are you?
  • Inquire whether the student wants to change the situation
    This is a difficult situation
    Do you want things to change/to improve?
    I am sure that we can do something  to modify what is happening. Would you like that?
  • Convey confidence
    A lot of students have gone through similar experiences as you and found a way out.
  • Show interest and commitment
    What is happening to you cannot be tolerated.
    I want every student to be able to attend school without fear –  that includes you.
  • Procedure will be explained
    I will have a meeting with some of your classmates.
    Together with them, I will think about ways to improve the situation for you and the whole class.
    The group will consist of students you like but also include those who are causing your problems.
  • Take away the burden of the student
    You don´t have to become active. I will take care of it.
  • Convey safety
    It is important for you to know that nobody will be punished or will get in trouble.
  • Who should belong to the support group?
  • Bullying protagonists
    In order to be able to do something for you, I need to know who is participating in giving you a hard time.
    Who is bullying you? Anybody else?
  • “Neutral” students
    Who do you get along with?
  • Confidentiality
    Student expresses what should not be mentioned.
  • Agree on a date for a follow- up meeting

  • Fairaend, Heike Blum, Detlef Beck, Trainingmaterial 2009, Gespräch mit gemobbten Schüler